10 tips for dating on the Internet

Given all the hoopla and even a network television show about dating via the Internet, I thought it prudent to share some tips about how to find your beloved in cyber-space.
1. Get a good headshot. The photos on dating sites are small, so a full-body shot is not going to show a prospective mate how you look. Don’t get one of those posed glamour shots; feather boas and bow ties won’t show the real you. Remember that the eyes are the windows to the soul and to never judge a book by its cover.

2. Write your profile off-line. Take your time as you write about yourself, and tell the truth because the lies always come out. Also, be sure to use spell-check. If you’re uncomfortable doing it yourself, there are services that will help you write a dynamite profile.
3. Don’t give too much personal information. Get an anonymous e-mail address, and use a pen name to help you keep your privacy. Never give out your last name, phone number, or home or work location until you’ve met with someone several times and feel safe.

4. Talk on the phone first. Yes, I know the last tip advised you to not give out your number. Get the other person’s number and block your caller ID. If the other person makes a big fuss and demands your number or other personal information, take it as a red flag.

5. Read the other person’s profile carefully. Some people lie about their age, height or weight, or post pictures that are several years old. Some people may even be married when they claim to be single. If you feel you’re being lied to, just end the contact.

6. Don’t e-mail or talk on the phone forever. If you keep an e-mail/telephone relationship going for several weeks and become emotionally involved, you could be very disappointed when you finally meet.

7. Think Starbucks. The first date should always be a “coffee date” during the day. Have a friend call you about a half-hour into the date just in case you need an escape plan. If it’s going well, say, “Oh, hi. I’m talking with this really fascinating person.”

8. Ask lots of questions. This is your best tool for finding out who this person really is and if you’re compatible.

9. Pay attention to callbacks. When a woman says, “I’ll call you,” she means within a day. When a guy says it, he means within a decade. If you don’t get a call from someone you’ve met within two or three days, it may be time to move on.

10. Take your time. Many people have successfully hooked up on the Net, but don’t pour your heart into a person until you’ve spent a couple of months getting to know him or her.

By BARTON GOLDSMITH, Scripps Howard News Service
Last Updated 12:35 pm PDT Thursday, August 25, 2005